F*CK Diet Culture
As I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts - Food Heaven - they discussed intuitive eating and if it was possible to follow intuitive eating while trying to lose weight. The short answer is no.
The conversation around diet culture and intuitive eating made me interrogate the relationship I have with my body, with food, and diet culture in general.
For the last 14 years, I’ve had a New Years’ resolution of “lose X pounds.” I’m 26. So that means since grade school, I’ve held the belief that I needed to lose weight.
Isn’t that fucking sad?!?
In 2019 I weighed less than I had since my sophomore year of undergrad. I was going through a lot in my personal life, and the only outlet I had was the gym. People would often say, “Wow, you look great!” and it would make me feel proud at that moment because even when my life was falling apart, I was able to stay consistent in the gym. I would post ‘before and after’ photos on IG (which I now know it a massive part of diet culture) because I wanted credit for how hard I was working, but what was missing from those posts was the reality that I was unhappy and mentally unhealthy.
After an incredibly trying year, I found myself in a happier space toward the tail end of 2019, which meant I didn’t have to go to the gym every day to prevent an emotional breakdown, which also meant I was gaining weight. I called it happy weight.
I stoping being compulsive about my workout and felt good in my own body. I went into 2020 in a much healthier mental and physical space. Fast forward a few months, and my healthier, less compulsive gym habits were brought to a halt due to COVID-19. Between March and August of 2020, I gained roughly 15-20 pounds. I called this survival weight.
So that brings me to where I am currently -
This reflection period allowed me to realize that my relationship with food and my body was much deeper than I initially thought. I’m in the process of unlearning so many unhealthy and unsustainable eating habits, and it feels so good.
After reflecting on my relationship with food and my body, I switched things up. I incorporated eggs and fish into my diet. I started working out with a trainer. I stopped weighing myself. I stopped watching my caloric intake. I feel good. My clothes fit better. My mood improved.
I truly encourage you to take a moment and reflect/journal about your relationship with food and how it impacts the way you operate on a day to day basis. I wanted to share some of the questions I’ve asked myself over the last few weeks to get you started.
A moment to reflect -
🌿 Describe the relationship you have with your body. Reflect on the way you speak about your body. Are you kind to yourself? Do you show your body gratitude?
🌿 Why do you eat what you eat? Who and what influences the decision you make about your food choices? Does diet culture play a role?
🌿 Are you always “on a diet” or heavily monitoring what you eat? What outside factors play a role in why you feel the need to restrict what you eat? Do you think it’s possible for you to let go of some of your more rigid food beliefs?
I’m still learning every day and getting a better understanding of what it means to live by intuitive eating and believe in the power of a “health at every size approach,” but I will certainly continue to share resources while I embark on this new season in my wellness journey.
And if you aren’t already, you should definitely follow @foodheaven across osier media platforms and listen to their podcasts. Getting insight from Black dietitians has been so helpful!
